Beat Bureaucracy

Kvetch-22
Maddening corporate bureaucracy 

by Jack Messinger

Rogers Communications is a huge communications giant. My name is Jack, and I have climbed the beanstalk.

A month before moving out of our home, my wife called Rogers and asked that calls to our about-to-be-cancelled phone lines (there were two) be re-routed to her cell. After we moved out, we discovered that the calls had not been re-routed from our regular line, but only from the seldom-used private line.

There was a definite urgency since both my wife and I depend on telephone contact for our livelihood. 34 phone calls to Rogers later, we became convinced that we had moved into telecommunications purgatory. We couldn’t change the routing because the phone lines had been cancelled. We would have to wait until the end of the month, then reconnect our line so that we could cancel it again. At least that’s what a slim majority of the inbound brains told us. It seemed dim but possible.

Sure enough, as the new month dawned, we were playing our favorite game – wait for the live operator. Did we get customer satisfaction? We got unbundled! Now they told us we couldn’t reconnect our phone line in order to cancel it. Why? Because it had been cancelled! Now more waiting. Then absurd solutions from the supervisors and top brass, bursting forth at the speed of light. Now we were threatening lawsuits. In the end the phone line was never connected, but we got $50 taken off our bill. Victory!

You can’t imagine our relief when we moved into a territory that had Bell! We just bundled up all cosy with the blue and white, thinking we had beaten down (slaid? slewn?) the ugly red giant. On our first day the Bell contractor came by to put up the antenna, but oops – too many trees in the way, you’ll never get reception. So we were unbundled again, changed to another company. Meanwhile after 5 months and thousands of calls to Bell, we were still getting bills for TV service we never had. Give me rabbit ears!!

Finally, after paying off all reasonable disconnect and cancellation fees, I was told by a munificent Bell agent that I had actually amassed a $65 credit! They would send a letter and all I had to do was call them. Needless to say they didn’t and I didn’t. But did I complain? 

One thing I have over that other Jack – he only had one giant to slay.